If you read my blog regularly, you will be aware that I am a fellow sufferer of anxiety and the slightest depression. Sometimes, I dwell on it and make myself all upset (play the victim, basically) but other times I really do have to laugh about it- because, sure, if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry. Some of the situations that having these illnesses have put me in have actually been funny to look back on. I mean, you could argue and say that it is no joking matter and that coping with panic attacks, anxiety attacks, break-downs and way more is a really serious thing. But there has to be a funny side to it because we’d all be fucked if we didn’t have a good giggle every now and then- even at ourselves. So, I have taken the liberty of presenting you with The ABC’s Of Being Overly Sensitive, written by somebody who is, most definitely, the most over sensitive person there is.
A is for..
Anxiety. We are anxious about 90% of the time thinking about who said what and why and how and where and when… We get so worked up over things, it’s absolutely hilarious. We can’t leave the house in the morning without having a good fifty scenarios of how the day is going to go, who we’re going to see and what’s going to be said! Basically, we think we’re psychic.
B is for..
Blame. Every single thing is my fault. I know I wasn’t born when Hitler invaded, well, everywhere but I’m 99% convinced that he did it because of me. My fault. Completely. Excuse me while I cry into my pizza.
C is for..
Conclusions! Jumping! To! Conclusions! ‘He said this so that means this and that means that he really doesn’t think I’m pretty cos if he did think I was pretty he would have said it in a higher pitch tone than the way he did. He actually hates me. Cos if he didn’t he would have said he loved me and that means he hates who I am.’
D is for..
Dominos. It helps.
E is for…
Emotionally suffering. I look at people sometimes that feel nothing, and don’t care who they hurt, and live life without any boundaries and envy them because I wish I could be that free. On the other hand, I like the part of me that feels everything because I can feel the good things too. So, although my emotional turmoil is constantly crippled, there is sometimes a sense of relief when it gets soothed by something amazing. Woo!
F is for..
Fights. Can. Not. Cope. Jesssssusuuusssssss no. I totally wish that I could be confrontational and stand my ground, screaming and shouting, arguing my point across. But, unfortunately for us sensitives, that’s not an option. Usually just letting people be mean and then crying about it later is the easy way out.. pathetic really.
G is for..
Being grounded. As we have suffered ourselves, we can understand other people’s pain. Its a pro, really, because at least then we’re not all alone in this god forsaken cycle of tears and tantrums!
H is for..
Hope. Hope that one day I can walk down the road without being socially anxious, thinking that every Tom, Dick and Harry is staring at me, judging my soul deeply and then they won’t stop there, they’ll go home and think about me all day and say things like ‘I saw a girl today down the road and she was so ugly. She looked like a seal.’ and everyone will laugh and it will be so bad so I’m just going to stay here in bed where I’m safe and people can’t harm me. Better off staying in.
Hurt. When we feel, we FEEL. It can hurt, baaaaaaaad.
I is for..
Imagination. We’re good at using this to make situations a lot worse than they are in our heads.
J is for..
Jokes. It’s very hard for us to understand and take jokes the same way ordinary people do because we worry that maybe that joke was really about us and that nobody in the group even likes us anyway.
K is for..
Kind. We tend to be kind to people, often leading to us being taken for granted, because we know what it feels like to be hurt and feel sad. So, we’ll basically do anything you ask us to.
L is for..
Lonely. We could be standing in the biggest room full of people but it will always seem that everyone else is having a better time. We deserve to be slapped, really.
Lexipro. Oh yea.
M is for..
Moving forward. Why would I want to do that!? I’m enjoying myself being caught up over something that happened three years ago that had nothing to do with me at all but hurts anyway!?
N is for..
Naive. We will kind of fall for anything. Ha, tiks.
O is for..
Over-thinking! Parallel universes definitely exist.
P is for..
People-pleasing! I think sometimes about how pathetic I’ve been in the past, pleasing people that just don’t want me there.. I actually laugh about how much I’ve put myself out there for people that were just not impressed at all. Some of the embarrassing situations… Dear God. Ya have to laugh, though!
Push-over. That’s ok, just stand on my face, it’s fine. I’m sure the mark from the bottom of your shoe will iron out sometime… Sigh.
Q is for..
Quiet. We tend to be shy until you really get to know us. It’s kind of deceptive..
R is for..
Realism. This doesn’t exist to us. Things can’t be as they are because we already know all of the possible ways they COULD be. See? Told you.
S is for..
Stressed, depressed but well-dressed. Stay fab.
T is for..
Things to moan about. We need them because if not we’d actually have to face what’s really wrong with us, yano, like the fact we can’t speak to people without internally breaking down and needing to have a nervous poo.
U is for..
Understanding. Another pro. We can relate a lot to people and their battles, so we’re helpful and can be good friends when needed. Yay!
V is for..
Venting. We’re gonna need to tell you all about how Sally looked at us in a different way today and all about how could this mean a million things.
W is for…
Worry. Everyone’s going to die, I’m going to be so hurt, my car’s going to break down, it’s going to rain. Worry!
X is for..
X-tra duties. To lighten everyone’s load, we take on extra jobs for ourselves and put extra pressure on ourselves until we’re in a serious mental condition. It’s one of our favored past times.
Y is for..
Yesterday. Because we can feel everything, it’s sometimes hard to forget things that have happened (when they’re none of your business!) so yesterday plays a big part in your mind if you’re over sensitive! Replaying things like videos online, over-thinking what should and could have been done.. Oh, yesterday.
Z is for..
So, it was supposed to be funny but maybe the funny thing about it is, it’s just the biggest pain in the bum ever. I haven’t posted in a while but I hope everyone is living awesome lives and staying blessed. I haven’t been up to much myself bar starting a new job! Which is a step in the right direction.