Situations like this happen all the time. And if your a teenage girl like me, this can be heartbreaking. The other people in the situation might not even notice that anything could possibly be wrong with what’s going on and well, technically, there’s nothing actually wrong with people making new friends or meeting new people. But, it can be hurtful and hard to deal with -especially if you guys were close. You can be left feeling forgotten or lonely. But there’s logical and illogical ways to deal with these situations and you’ve come to the right place.
The reason I’ve chosen to write about this particular topic today is because I’ve been both people. I’ve been the friend that lost a friend because I made new friends and I’ve also been the friend that was left behind. Neither scenarios are pleasant and both happen to quick for anybody to grasp. My advice, which I probably won’t take but I really hope you do, is to talk to your friend about it. If you feel like your friend is upset or feeling left out, just ask them if they’re okay. If you feel like you’re friend has completely ditched you for somebody else (be it a boy or another friend), just ask them what’s going on. Most of the time, if your friend is really the friend they say they are, they’ll be honest with you. Don’t let the situation get so far gone that it can’t be fixed. Talking is strength.
Recently, a friend of mine has been hanging out with a girl that I wouldn’t particularly trust. It’s none of my business to say. I really can’t open my mouth and judge someone that may be on a completely wave length with them as they were with me. If this person really isn’t to be trusted, my friend will figure it out on her own, in her own time, when she’s ready. I can’t be of any interference. It’s not my place. I am also quite a sensitive person. Crying is like a hobby to me, it’s actually quite funny. It really doesn’t take much to make me cry at all. Try to remember it might not be anything personal. It’s just the way things are for the time being. It’ll blow over.
I’m very close to my brother. There’s only two of us siblings in our family so we tell each other quite a lot and get on really well. But, there has been times that he has been friends with, or gone out with somebody that I don’t take to. At the time I didn’t realize that it was out of my control. One thing I learned is that you can not pick other people’s people. If you’re like me, you’ll really want to. I’m impulsive. I can be a bit protective and I like to look after the people I care about. But sometimes, you’re better off letting them figure it out for themselves. It’s calling live and let live. Unfortunately, it can be difficult. But if you’ve enough respect for the people you love and care about, you will trust that they will make the right decision at the end of the day.
So to sum today’s blog up, here’s some bullet points on how to cope with situations like these that are completely out of your control.
- Understand yourself. It’s okay to acknowledge that your upset. Take steps in your mind. Go through why your upset and how you it can be resolved before you speak to anybody. This will steer you away from saying hurtful things or causing an argument.
- Don’t lose your temper. People that shout say nothing at all.
- If you feel like you could be the one doing the hurting, be it accidental or on purpose, never be afraid to admit it to yourself and your friends. Mistakes are made by everybody but they are a lot more easy to forgive with a pinch of honesty and an apology. Be the bigger person.
- Try to remember it might not be anything personal. Work on your sensitivity. Sometimes people just act without realizing. It may not have anything to do with you at all.
- I can not stress this enough: Talk to someone. After you’ve finished deconstructing your little stressed and upset mind, just speak to somebody that could give you a better insight. If you’re not ready to speak to your friend, talk to your mom or your siblings. But always be careful who you trust, make sure you’re speaking to the right people. It’s horrible that I’d need to include a warning but some people just want to hear the gossip and don’t actually care about your well-being. That, my darling, is unfortunately the way life is.
- Take a step back to think about the consequences. If you go running around talking to everybody about it, mentioning names left right and center and causing trouble, nobody is going to take you seriously. Just simmer down. It’s out of your control anyway, there’s nothing you can do.
And lastly, trust your friend’s instincts. Know in your mind & heart that your friend will come to her senses eventually. It might not be today, or tomorrow, or next week. I can’t tell you when but things happen and work out for a reason. Maybe your friend has a lesson to learn. Let it happen. Trust that everything will work out for a reason, and hopefully for the best.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.